LOOKING FOR CERTAINTIES

Certainty! Well there's a subject! Life is generally an uncertain affair, but these days it feels ridiculously unpredictable! Fearful anticipation and anxiety can put us into a sustained fight or flight mode, or cause us to simply shut down. Neither is healthy so we need to be self aware and look for ways to ground ourselves.

The little mandala design above is my own from a recent Re-centering Mandala Workshop in Walpole, Massachusetts. The workshop was a little difficult for me because I had just received an inconclusive and possibly serious medical diagnosis. I was having a hard time with this uncertainty. I thought the workshop was not great timing, but it turns out that it was.

After introducing the topic of re-centering, we began the workshop with a time of brainstorming or sketching. We drew images or listed words of things we wanted in our lives, placing them inside a circle. Things we didn't want in our lives were written or drawn outside the circle. As usual, I had more than a handful of intentions, but a few stood out - Gratitude and Certainty. Yes, that made sense, I thought to myself as I intensely circled the word Certainty drawing little stars around it too. After brainstorming, each of us began to create re-centering mandalas. Mine is above.

I was drawn to the vibrant jingle shells and felt quite happy to place them in the middle of some dark little rocks. Then I placed sticks radiating above. This is when it became very emotional! In my mind, the mandala now looked like a campfire . . . fire . . . danger . . . destruction! That was nothing I wanted to think about in the light of my recent uncertain diagnosis. I took them off. Then I put them back on. I went back and forth a few times, but finally decided to trust my intuition and left them on.

During discussion time, we can often interpret our circles relatively quickly. But mine was not coming easily. It was't until the next day that I understood what it was trying to tell me, or rather what I was trying to tell myself. I had just started a new routine of waking up just before sunrise so I can sit on my couch and watch the sun coming through the trees in the woods. The silent, calm, and predictable event is a great way to start the day. And there it was! That scene is what I created in my little circle the day before. It was not a destructive fire, it was the sun coming up and shining through the trees. There was my gratitude. There was my certainty!

I may have a lot of uncertainty right now - we all do! It is easy to feel unmoored or feel as if there is no solid ground under our feet. But there are still some things for sure. If nothing else, I know the sun will come round again tomorrow.

So my new little suggestion for a Gratitude / Certainty Practice is this. Take a few moments to think about things that are certain right now. Then write them down. Here are a few examples form my list today.

Tomorrow, the sun is going to come up in the east through the trees.

My granddaughters always make me laugh.

The phoebe is going to wake me up in the morning.

Warblers are migrating again this year.

People are still creating and making art.

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