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Field 2019

No frantic last minute Thanksgiving cooking for me this year. No cranberry squares, biscuits, or homemade pumpkin coconut ice cream. The recipes are still sitting on the counter. I'm getting over some sort of cold or something, again, and the kids and grandkids will have to spread their wonderful chaos elsewhere. It seems about right. This year has been difficult. Repeated illnesses. Expected and unexpected deaths. Consistant bad weekend weather conditions hitting my livlihood hard. People unexpetedly moving around, etc. But in saying all this, I don't really feel anger and I am not trying to get your attention or sympathy. There are so many people dealing with much more difficult things than I am. So much worse. The world is so heavy right now. I am feeling it.

Slowly, I stand up to see if I am still dizzy and lightly arrange a few things on the table . . . the ferns from behind my mother's house which turn strangely gold . . . passsing larch needles picked from the trees last weekend . . . dried scarlet runner beans appearing lifeless but holding life . . . and saffron. I haven't created a circle in awhile. Life is heavy right now. And yet . . . beauty remains! It is not effort to see. It is right in front of me. Right now, the golden ferns and saffron are quite enough. And the beans will grow if I plant them.

I am not complaining today. I am thankful! So thankful! As the Doobie Brothers' song goes, "I'm glad to be here. Here with all the same pain and laughs everybody knows."

I am here, with you and everyone else, to witness the pain of this world, and to witness the beauty. Today, whether in joy or in sorrow, know you are part of the collective whole bearing the weight and holding, sometimes despritely, on to the beauty of today.


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